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# I Used to Dig Graves
- URL: https://www.fsm.ink/i-used-to-dig-graves/
- Published: 2026-07-06T16:00:02.000Z
- Updated: 2026-07-06T16:00:02.000Z
- Author: Staff
- Tags: Poetry, Essay, #Import 2026-08-03 09:59

*by Arthur Boucher*

I used to dig graves  
with my dad, and brothers  
sometimes my sister  
For the Catholic, and  
sometimes for the Lutheran cemetery  
Always for someone who died  
and needed burying  
  
I never really gave it much thought as to why my father got into the business of groundskeeping, and by extension,  
grave digging  
Because his position was that of  
a physically disabled man, being paid by the government to sit home and do his very best not to throw his back out again  
and the government  
didn’t pay him well enough for him to take that position very seriously  
  
So he transported hay, milk, manure,  
he built fences, repaired automobiles and equipment, welded, painted  
chauffeured his aging neighbors  
to their medical appointments,  
helped move furniture and appliances,  
he mowed grass,  
and eventually  
dug graves  
  
He did what he felt he needed to do,  
and did his best to teach his sons  
about grit, purpose in your work,  
and to disregard superstition  
in place of what’s real  
  
I would almost think my dad had an unfeeling relationship with the task of digging graves  
the way we would sit, parked  
licking our ice cream cones  
patiently waiting for a grieving wife or mother to leave the gravesite  
so that we may cover her beloved  
with dirt and sod  
But one day, while our small crew was taking care of the grass and cleaning up the monuments  
my father told me he wanted to show me something  
He told me,  
“When I was younger, 21 or 22, I was seeing a woman”  
Said they both liked to drink heavily back then. That she was seeing a few men at the time, and when she discovered herself pregnant, she didn’t have complete confidence on who the father was.  
  
Then we stopped at a grave i had stepped past dozens of times, he said  
“This is your sister, half sister”  
I learned her name, and that she had lived to  
be just over 2 years old  
That she left the world more than a decade  
before i entered it  
That he was entirely convinced that the child was his  
How their families  
drove a wedge between them  
Now I knew, in his heart  
My dad didn’t get the opportunity to be a father to his first baby  
And I’m not even going to pretend to know how that might feel  
  
I do know  
That he lives this life through the lens of his service to his loved ones  
Including those who are no longer around to see his actions  
  
So we would keep the grass neat,  
the flowers arranged,  
the monuments respected  
and thank the creator  
that we get the chance to be here  
with each other

> Arthur Boucher is an Appleton resident, musician, and multidisciplinary artist.